her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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