She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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