there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
