So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
