so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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