He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
