If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
