return my video game
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
