i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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