through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
