We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
