Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
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Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
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I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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