Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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