let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
