Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize