we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My ass is underappreciated
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
