Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
