Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
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Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
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You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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