He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
