Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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