FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
