u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
