I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
