Me too!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
