so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
