Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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