your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
