He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
