Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
