Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
