My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
