I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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