his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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