No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
