i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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