Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
