What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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