Its about making memories worth repressing
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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