it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
