it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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