i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
