the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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