No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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