omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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