the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
