is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
