All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
