haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
