Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
