i jhust puked up my retainher.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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