I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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