It's like God shit irony all over that family
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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