you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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