when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He had one of those small greek statue penises
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize