dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
