He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
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