i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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