I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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