Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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