there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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