who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize