I need help removing her.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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