So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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