i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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