oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
